People often ask with a sneer, ‘Do you do divorce ceremonies, too?’ Tee hee hee.
Well, short answer, ‘I do and I will.
Divorce doesn’t always end in acrimony or even alimony. Quite often it’s a simple recognition of the end of what once worked for two people. Two people who might have grown apart, found different interests, got bored or irritated enough with each other to call it quits. To make a brave new start, even in the absence of a suitable, younger, smarter, kinder, richer, cuter replacement standing by in the wings with shiny new rings.
Their kids are grown or maybe there never were kids. They’re spending less and less time together, particularly in the bedroom. They have separate bedrooms. Or wish they did.
‘What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder’ is all very well if you believe in that sort of thing – that it’s only man whom can put things asunder – but it’s a bit unrealistic for most of us down here on the bumpy earth.
As with most significant milestones in life, people do feel the urge to … ‘celebrate’ is the wrong word, but to mark the occasion with a ritual.
In Japan, I’ve heard tell, they hold divorce parties at which both halves of the split celebrate by burning the marriage certificate and smashing the rings. Radical. But I get it. Just as a wedding ceremony is all about the outward symbols of love and commitment, so, too, a divorce party calls for its own props and costumes.
Luckily, the legal side of divorce is taken care of in court but there are no rules governing a celebration of the outcome. So, if it all worked out for the best and everybody is still friends, why not throw a party with a formal ceremony at its not so broken heart?
Cue Tammy Wynette